Were what this week was made of.
But I think I still need to move on…
“When was your most powerful moment as a leader?”
I started my leadership journey in AIESEC from March 2011. At the early stage of my leadership role, I had chance to attend Asia Pacific Exchange and Leadership Development Seminar (also known as APXLDS) in Ho Chi Minh City together with more than 250 AIESECers from all over the world. There was one session which I would never forget. In the middle of that session, the facilitator looked me in the eyes and asked me: “Now if I ask you when your most powerful moment as a leader was, can you answer me?”
At that moment, I could not response. I thought power would go together with big fancy achievements, recognition, fame and admiration. I had none at that time.
The question kept haunting me for a long time after. “When is my most powerful moment?”
Being a leader in AIESEC has taught me what I would never learn from any books or lectures in order to find answer for that question. I have learnt to think and take actions beyond the limits, be ambitious and see the world the way I want to see. I also learnt that being a leader is not about making your members feel good. It is about challenging them to step out of their comfort zone, to be more than themselves so that they can constantly progress, develop and achieve.
Now, nearly reaching one of the milestones in my life, going through so many ups and downs, developing and achieving, I realize that in the end of the day, when a true leader looks back, his/her most powerful moment does not go only with achievements, recognition, fame or admiration. As for me, my experience is fulfilled by the experiences of people who walk with me in this journey.
And I have no doubt that “The most powerful moment of a leader is when his/her members progress, develop and achieve”.
I have been standing so strong that I nearly forgot how it feels to lean on someone. I have spent more time being on my own. Loneliness and self reflection comfort me more than anything.
But today, after a long drive home in this freezing weather and a dinner out alone, I started crying and felt so vulnerable. Nearly reaching the end of this journey, I feel so unfulfilled.
I didn’t think that I would feel this hurt by those random things.
Perhaps loneliness will not work this time.
I need a real “I’m here. It’s okay”. Like the good old days.