Month: January 2012

“She likes to write. Encourage her” <3

Well, as usual, changing blog theme made me feel good :D. Hope this will bring a new start to the new year. I’m gonna journal more in 2012, recording every single powerful moment of mine xD.

Nearly reaching the end of 2011, I came across some sweet things from some old posts. I smiled. Unintentionally, they made me feel good. What a great end for 2011 :).

I will appreciate 2012 no matter how challenging it would be.

Randomness.

I dont remember the last time I talked with someone about my dream. It must have been such a long time ago… But whenever I think about this, you and our conversations flash back in my mind.

I miss you badly.

Hạnh phúc.

“Ừ, ừm, chỉ cần mày vui là được rồi”.

Rei nhìn mình và nói thế khi mình sung sướng một cách nhảm nhí nhìn đôi giày đỏ mới mua một cách rất không chủ đích. Mặc dù đã chơi với nhau lâu và đi guốc trong bụng nhau, cũng đã rất lâu không thèm “sến” với nhau, nhưng câu nói đơn giản ấy vẫn khiến mình xúc động.

Mình cũng rất dễ xúc động khi nghe những câu nói, đọc những tin nhắn kiểu như:

“Nhìn chị khỏe thế này em vui quá, trước khi ra em cứ nghĩ chị gầy ốm lắm”. =))

“Nhìn em xót lắm”.

“And you, stop being so moody girl”.

“I would be happy to assist you along the way”.

Mọi người thường hay nói mình bản lĩnh, mạnh mẽ, ghê gớm, khắc nghiệt. Nhưng với những người thật sự thân thiết, mình là một đứa vô cùng vô cùng nhảm nhí, vớ vẩn, thất thường, mâu thuẫn, mỏng manh dễ vỡ, cần được che chở đặc biệt =)). Và mình đúng là như thế đới :>.

Những ngày này, thấy hạnh phúc nhất là khi khoác tay bạn thân đi loanh quanh, nói chuyện tương lai, chồng con, sự nghiệp rồi cùng cười như mấy con điên. Uống Earl Grey mật ong ngon nhất thành phố, ngon đến mê muội 8-> ở La Place :>. Đọc teen story của Hoa Học Trò =)). Thấy mình vẫn ngu ngốc và nhảm nhí. Và hạnh phúc vì mình vẫn còn ngu ngốc và nhảm nhí.

Có một câu trích dẫn của Andersen rất hay:

Anh đã gặp rất nhiều hạnh phúc, và đã tận hưởng. Nhiều khi tưởng thế là hết. Nhưng ngày này trôi qua, ngày khác lại bắt đầu còn đẹp hơn nữa…”

Attention to detail.

“This one time I painted a living room with a girl.

This was a handful of years back. It was about eight months before the huge, flame-out of a breakup. That day, though? That day we painted the living room? It was pretty uneventful. We painted my parents living room for $50 between us and a pizza. That was it. I think we watched Anchorman or something after that.

But it still holds as on of the most indelible memories I have. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not still in love, it happened, it was good, it ended, and we’ve both moved on. But I’ll never forget that day. Because it’s never, in the long run, about the grand gestures. You can fly across the world and show up on her doorstep with a rose in your teeth and a ring in a little velvet box but I can guarantee you that – more often than not – she’s going to remember the time you built the birdhouse in the back yard, or what have you, a whole lot more.

Life wasn’t meant to be taken in large movements. The next day will inevitably arrive, you’ll sleep, and the moment will have passed. But when you have a hundred thousand small moments, you can step back and appreciate the picture a lot more than metaphorically blowing your load on some grand moment that, in all honesty, look, you’re not Bruce Fucking Springsteen, you’re not going to be able to blow everyone’s mind every single night. You’re not Romeo and/or Juliet. There’s no reason to drink the poison together in some flame-out gesture. So that leaves us with the small stuff. It’s all about the detail.

That’s what love is. Attention to detail.

And the moment will end. And then things will get boring. And it might get a little quiet. And it might all end horribly. And you might hate eachother at the end. And you might walk away from eachother one day and never speak again. But that’s just how it goes.

But she’ll remember the time you held the door open for her on your first date.
She’ll remember the time you laughed at her impression of the landlady.
She’ll remember the time you stayed up all night that first time. 
She’ll remember the small things a lot longer than the big ones.

But everything ends. And I’ll tell you why you have to make the small things, the small moments count so much more:

One day, probably a while longer from now, when old age takes ahold of someone, she might just only remember your smile. Everything you ever did together, every second, every moment, every beat, every morning spent in bed, every evening spent together on the sofa, all of that – gone. Everything you ever did will be reduced to the head of a pin. She won’t remember your name. She’ll just remember your smile, and she’ll smile. She won’t know why. It’s a base, gut reaction. But she’ll smile, uncontrollably, and it will come from somewhere so deep as to know that you touched her on a primal, honest, and true level that no scientist, scholar, or savant could ever begin to explain. There is no more. There is nothing else. There is just this: She’ll remember your smile, and she’ll smile.

And you know what? That’s all that really matters in the end.”

– Ned Hepburn –

It’s so true. Attention to detail. When I was reading this, I thought about my sun – sick. Haha. I didn’t consider that kind of feeling as something called love. But I think it’s true with any relationships between man and woman. I suddenly realized that it’s been such a long time I don’t pay much attention to the details that someone expressed.

And I felt like missing him so much. And I felt so sweet remembering all the details that I used to adore.

He hates onion and cayenne pepper.

He has headache if having milk.

He likes to do a thumb up when posing for a photo shoot.

He cannot drink alcohol.

He let me use his socks when I was cold.

He ate up my meals as it was too spicy for me.

He wrote me emails.

His eyes when he smiled.

The scent on his collars.

Fell asleep on his shoulders.

Now, those feelings left me. But the memories stayed. And after 1 year and a half, I feel like being in the mood for relationship again so that I can pay attention to the details of the one I love. And feel so tenderly sweet.