I remember that night when I watched him fall asleep adorably on the armchair while he was studying, with a book in his hand. And the city lights were sparkling over his shoulders. That was the only moment when I felt like I could leave my whole world behind and go with him to wherever. We were lying in bed, looking at each other in the eyes, and talking about random stuff until we could not open our eyes. I remember the sound of his laughter. I woke up in the morning, listening to the music he played. I remember the suits he wore that day.
I guess I am not missing him. I just miss the feeling of talking about everything and nothing, the feeling of no boundaries, the feeling when the only thing mattered was us. Just us. Nothing and noone else.
It was such a while. And things have changed a great deal.
These days I feel the urge to be alone. Since the day I came, I haven’t had much time being on my own. I was always with my team, or else, I stayed at home, reading and sleeping. This weather discourages me to walk in day time, and at night, it is too dangerous to hang around alone. Most of the time, I ended up staying at home. Some days ago, when we were in the car with Amin to Katara, I found the city at night so quiet and peaceful. The colors of lights were mesmerizing. And in the end I found myself just a little kid who was excited and curious about every single random thing that l saw, and could be simply happy just because I could hear the sound of my own voice echoing in an empty building. I was so small. And so were my problems. They turned out just simple and clear.
I wish I could drive so that I could take the car and go on a road trip at night. Only me.